This Is The New Loneliness

Its a weekday evening and youre feeling restless. Youre texting friends and youre watching Netflix and youre on your laptop and youre scrolling through Tumblr or Facebook or Instagram or Twitter. Your attention is in ten different directions, yet theres a tug, a tiny voice in the back of your mind. It asks: You ignore. Scroll again. Click again.

You send a text: Wanna hang tomorrow night?

Sure, I need to leave my apartment eventually, lol

L O L, me too, goddddd. Ok, let’s plan tomorrow

Tomorrow rolls around.

You know, can we maybe rain check on plans? Im cozy!

YES, omg, I totally wanted to bail, too. PERFECT.

Then, you two text all night. Netflix on in the background. Computer on your lap. Scroll. Click. Scroll. Click. Refresh. Scroll. Click. Text.

Wait a second. What? How is our new normal? What are we doing with our lives? Making plans with actual human beings and then canceling in favor of a screen, Netflix, gchat, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. How is this okay? How are we accepting this?

How is this a life?

It’s not a life, actually. We cannot spend our days hunched over a screen forging a sense of human interaction. This is not what we were made for. I can guarantee all your best memories live within the moments with others. Wheres your great memory with the internet? Is this really all there is now?

When you look back on your life, will you be happy by how much Netflix youve watched? Will you be happy about the graveyard of plans you let fall by the wayside? Will you be happy when youre surrounded by no one because weve all pushed each other away? Pushed and pushed and pushed and, in favor of what?

Its the weirdest thing: our generation. Were the and connected generation ever and yet if you spend some time on the internet, you see:

, undiagnosed, unchecked
, of the social variety
, rampant and unbelievable
, like it’s a lifestyle
, like never leaving our apartments is healthy
, like connection with other people is a bad thing
like its cool…
like its kind…
like its a human being…

Do people have true mental illnesses? God, yes. Of course! But this isnt about mental illness. People with diagnosable depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses dont make a lifestyle of it. They dont make a home in those diseases. They frantically fight for their life, because they . They get help. They furiously their happiness.

Our generation of sadness and loneliness is of the unchecked variety. Of wallowing. Of letting ourselves be disconnected from both others and ourselves. Learning to more than . Learning to put a band-aid on problems instead of working and our problems. If something is not immediate, we don’t want it, even if it’ll make us stronger. We’re not growing as people, not really. We’re shoving away “bad feelings” we don’t want to face by clicking, refreshing, scrolling until we’ve numbed ourselves out enough. It’s addiction.

Emotional strength is . It cannot be earned by self-distraction. And, thats what all of this is. DISTRACTION.

Distraction from ourselves.
Distraction from potential pain.
Distraction from our lives, those hopes, those dreams.
Distraction from vulnerability.
Distraction from compassion.
Distraction from kindness.
Distraction from

And, it is making us miserable. It really is. Take a look at your life. Take a look at how you spend your time. Are you happy? Do you have joy? Whens the last time you sat in front of a computer screen for longer than 2-3 hours and walked away feeling joyous and energized? Whens the last time a computer, a television screen, an iPad, a phone made you feel ? Whens the last time you felt you were loved and taken care of and healed? Whens the last time you felt ?

Weve taken it too far, thats what is problematic. The internet and these devices are not wholly unhealthy, but its the obsession, the constant consumption, the way it breeds a lack of connection with real people. And, it does breed that.

Can all of this technology be great? Yes. But were not using it that way. We’re being reckless. We’re acting like none of this matters, that how we spend our is not how we spend our , but it all matters and how we spend our days is how we spend our lives. It is. It just is.

I think we’re afraid, but that’s the whole point of lifethat facing down our fears provides for a richer experience. We are not meant to circumvent the process of healing ourselves. We need to who we are in order to who we are. We cannot find true connection and true love and the purity of both of those experiences while spending our days not caring about others or ourselves. To not care is to be cool now? Pizza! Netflix! Do nothing all day! Sweatpants! Homebody! Introvert! Hahahahahahahahahah, were all so sad and hate each other!

But, it’s not funny. None of this is.

This is your life. YOUR. LIFE. Do you get it? This is it. And youre fucking wasting it. Wake up. Life happens in a blink. Once its gone, its . Dont scroll, click, refresh it away. Be here, now. Show up. Care about shit. Care about others. Care about . Be better than this. Lets all do it. And, if we all do it: maybe itll be a fucking revolution.

Im sick of this sadness. Im sick of this loneliness. Im sick of this disconnection from others. Im so sick of it. Arent you?

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